REVIEW: ‘I Wish You Had Told Me’ Only Cares About Having Heart

Inspired by her own father, Shaira Advincula’s Tagalog-language Netflix Original movie I Wish You Had Told Me (Sana Sinabi Mo) is the deeply personal story of Seph (Juan Karlos Labajo) learning about his father, Otep (Bodjie Pascua, JC Santos), after his death. Otep’s funeral is interrupted by a woman, Cecil (Rosanna Roces), whom Seph has never heard of. She screams obscenities and claims that Otep was gay, and that Seph ruined Otep’s life by being born.

This comes as a shock for Seph and the community, not just because it’s out of the blue, but because their exceptionally conservative church vehemently forbids homosexuality. Seph is, in fact, supposed to depart soon on a several-year mission trip, but this revelation sees him beginning to question his church. But after deciding to meet with Cecil himself and hear the truth about his father, Seph learns about a secret lover, Rum (Jaime García) in Spain, with whom Otep wrote back and forth.

Seph uses the mission trip as an excuse to get to Spain and try to find Rum so he can better understand his father. The movie that follows is never evenly paced and often melodramatic, but it is ultimately sufficient at showing that love is far more powerful than fear and hatred. Cecil and Otep’s story is told through flashbacks, while Seph has a surreal relationship with his late father through text messages.

I Wish You Had Told Me is only interested in what’s in a person’s heart.

There is never a shred of doubt that Seph doesn’t love his father, regardless of his past or his sexuality. Likewise, it’s quite clear that despite Cecil’s accusations, Otep always loved his son, too. Their relationship is what drives the movie more than the scene-to-scene circumstances.

I Wish You Had Told Me endures some of the hardships of being queer in a repressive community, but the movie doesn’t dwell on them. That’s its greatest strength. If the movie had to put up with more hardship or traumatic experiences than it does, it would be a complete slog.

Instead, the movie is focused on what’s in its characters’ hearts. It’s about learning, growing, and changing to meet loved ones’ needs, and about refusing to let the tenets of a church hold people back from loving and being loved. Seph and Otep both get the chance to be relieved through Seph’s journey to find Rum.

The sideplots and padding add as much as they take away.

Meanwhile, Seph is paired with another missionary, Marlon (RK Bagatsing). The pair is supposed to stay together 24 hours a day throughout their mission and enjoy minimal contact with their families back home. Everything about the church is screaming red flags. However, neither character questions much about it or their pastor’s (Nonie Buencamino) behavior, aside from light questions from Seph about why he won’t accept gay people’s love.

When a huge shoe finally drops at the end of the movie, it’s not as if it comes out of nowhere. Plenty of hints were given leading up to the moment. But it also feels like an unnecessary extra revelation. It’s already clear that the church is cruel towards queer people; the final reveal feels like putting a hat on a hat.

There is a way to look at it as I Wish You Had Told Me trying to make the pastor’s evils clearer, but in doing so, it makes his hatred of homosexuality seem like less of an evil than the other thing he does. But then you’re left comparing different forms of evil, and that’s simply uncouth. The movie would have been sufficient without the extra layer to the pastor’s story.

I Wish You Had Told Me does enough differently to stand out among other melodramas.

On the other hand, without the extra side plot, the movie would be even thinner than it already is. I Wish You Had Told Me hardly feels like a whole movie. It’s so simplistic and melodramatic that it’s a wonder the movie makes it past the 90-minute mark.

Fortunately, most of the padding in the runtime is spent on intimate moments between Seph and Toep. The movie’s willingness to go non-literal to show the two interacting beyond just a phone screen deepens the otherwise simplistic story.

I Wish You Had Told Me is slight, but it does everything it needs to be an effective movie about overcoming toxic faith to deepen your love. It does a lot of things the way any other straightforward story would, and yet, it does enough to elevate it into a nuanced depiction of love across space and time.

I Wish You Had Told Me is streaming now on Netflix.