REVIEW: First Rule of ‘Fight Crab’ Is To Talk About How Fun It Is (PC)

The first rule of Fight Crab is you should definitely talk about Fight Crab because there’s a good bit of crustacean-centric fun to be had even if it is fairly short-lived. Developer Calappa Games’ wacky, 3D fighter brings kaiju action to the Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 4, and PC for a surprisingly entertaining romp filled with bizarre physics and even more bizarre scenarios. It more than likely won’t be a game that lives beyond having something to make fun of with friends, but it’s goofy and janky enough to at least garner a few laughs and more than a few confused stares from players if even for a short while.

If you’ve seen the title of the game then you know pretty much everything you need to know about Fight Crab. You are a Fight Crab and you also fight crabs. That’s the whole setup. What more do you really need? You select from a variety of unlockable crabs ranging from a snow crab to a king crab and you arm yourself with one weapon per claw and duke it out with your opponents.

The ultimate goal is to deal enough damage to have your opponent flip over onto their back until they’re not able to right themselves anymore. The damage system is very similar to that of Super Smash Bros. where damage is indicated by an ever-increasing percentage and the more you accumulate, the more susceptible you are to being flipped over and ultimately knocked out. To assist the process of pummeling your opponent until their belly is shown, there is a surprising and ridiculous variety of weapons. There is everything from katanas to double-barreled shotgun to the mystically-powered Excalibur. It is exactly as insane as it all sounds.

The game controls feel like you’re using your appendages for the first time. It’s damn near unplayable with a mouse and keyboard. So much so that the game advises you against it as soon as you start it up. Controller, on the other hand, isn’t that much better but that is kind of the point. The analog sticks correspond to one claw each while your strikes are dealt out with the triggers and the bumpers serve as your grabs. Movement is strangely relegated to the D-pad and it never really begins to click or feel natural even after a few hours. It’s very much in the same vein as similarly controlled games like Surgeon Simulator or Octodad where the wonky controls are part of the experience. There isn’t a great deal of strategy in the combat however and fights usually just became a battle of who can bonk the other the most between bouts of frantically flailing and hoping to make contact.

There is a very brief campaign that doesn’t have much to offer. There are six stages made up of varied rounds and each round has you facing off against a different opponent with the final one requiring you to go up against a fairly tough boss. The campaign is very short and can be finished in about an hour which isn’t a bad thing because any longer than that and the novelty will assuredly wear off. It being a bite-sized experience is a good deal for this kind of game that all but requires you to shut your brain off to enjoy it.

There are competitive multiplayer and cooperative components to the game, but, given that this was an early review, the servers were empty. I do believe that as long as the servers hold up that this could be a fun escape to play with friends if you just want a change of pace or want to do something completely mindless and silly for a least a short time.

Fight Crab doesn’t do much outside of its very shallow premise. It delivers on exactly what it promises and not much else. If you can acclimate yourself to the purposefully messy controls, there is some fun to be found within its short playtime. It is in no way going to be the next big fighter or take the tournament scene by storm, but it doesn’t need to nor is it trying to. It’s silly enough to be a brief distraction and sometimes that’s all a game needs to be.

Fight Crab releases on July 30th for the PlayStation 4, Nintendo Switch, and PC