JAPAN CUTS: ‘I Am What I Am’ Is a Powerful Character Study

So few mainstream stories tackle asexuality with consideration and grace, making the arrival of a film such as Shinya Tamada’s I Am What I Am a refreshing surprise. Demonstrating restraint in storytelling by refusing to lean on cheap melodrama or a last-minute change of heart from our protagonist, the film develops its rhythm that infuses the film with genuine, authentic energy. Bolstered by the themes it tackles by focusing on people on the fringe in modern-day Japan, from sexuality to those who refuse to adhere to generalized gender roles, and women who seek careers in the porn industry, I Am What I Am is quietly radical. This is made more so by the film’s refusal to see it as such and, instead, approaches the stories with a compassionate hand that understands that these are the points of view of culture today. I Am What I Am played at Japan Cuts 2023. 

Drive My Car’s Tôko Miura stars as Kasumi, a 30-year-old woman who lives at her home with her family while working at a call center. Due to her age and rigid expectations of what timelines are acceptable for young women, her mother often pesters her about seeking a boyfriend and getting married. Kasumi often mentions that she isn’t interested, but her mother refuses to hear her, setting her up on dates with possible suitors. But it isn’t just her mother who can’t comprehend her disinterest in romance and sex. Her sister believes she’s a lesbian, while a man she thought was a friend accuses her of lying when she tells him she’s not interested because she’s asexual.

Miura is tremendous and heartbreaking in these moments as we watch the disappointment settle onto her face, continually feeling the crushing reality of people seeing what they want rather than hearing what she’s saying. The film tackles the idea of traditional expectations with modern sensibilities, the lines between the two forever blurred as we can’t ever seem to shake the old, restrictive guidelines in one fell swoop. Instead, forever lingering beliefs take more than just one generation to overturn.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t pockets of community to discover and flourish in. From a coworker who shares with Kasumi that he’s gay to a later coworker who shares that he feels the same as her and that having her voice has made it easier for him to accept his sexuality, she’s finding like-minded people. However, her friendship with an old schoolmate, Maho (Atsuko Maeda), gets to the story’s crux.

Kasumi shares in a searing moment that while others might not understand how she conducts her life and her disinterest in pursuing a romantic relationship, she’s happy. She doesn’t feel sorry for herself. Instead, it seems that those around her are projecting their fear of independence or insecurities of failed dreams onto her. It’s what makes Maho such a wonderful supporting character, and Miura and Maeda share palpable chemistry. Maho might not completely understand how Kasumi feels, but she keeps her completely, never questioning Kasumi or asking if “she’s sure.” Instead, she pushes her to celebrate her perspective in life.

Through this, it demonstrates the significance of all types of relationships and how friendships can be just as beneficial and integral in our lives as any romance — if not more so. Kasumi doesn’t look at her life and sees it to be lacking. She sees a great new job in working at a day school, and the friendships she’s developed and her cup is full. The others around her, like her family, can’t seem to comprehend.

The film commits to a patient pace as we meander through the days of her life as she grows and experiences small joys such as cinema, lunch dates with Kasumi, and a needed camping trip. Directed to capture the minutiae of routine, the film still manages to instill consistent energy into the film. Light on its feet, it’s an uplifting character study that never gets too inside its head.

I Am What I Am is a confident and important story that digs deep into the internal life of one young woman facing the ongoing pressures of modern Japan. Anchored by a moving and assured performance from Miura, the film from Tamada allows for an unsung point of view to be given the spotlight while normalizing the topic and begging the question of why it isn’t discussed more.

I Am What I Am plays at Japan Cuts 2023.