REVIEW: ‘Date Everything!’ Delivers Connections Without Limits

Dating is hard. Finding someone who gets you? Even harder. But what if your perfect match isn’t a person at all? Maybe it’s a blanket. Or a coffee maker. Or, heck, even your bed. Welcome to Date Everything!, a sandbox dating simulator where love knows no bounds. Literally.

Developed by Sassy Chap Games and published by Team17, this gloriously absurd title lets you court just about anything with a pulse – or even without one. With a strong, expansive ensemble cast featuring Felicia Day, Matthew Mercer, Mary Elizabeth McGlynn, Steve Blum, and Ben Starr, every heartfelt confession and flirty pun hits with maximum charm. In a world where everything is a potential soulmate, maybe, just maybe, you’ll find the one that truly understands you.

Your romantic journey doesn’t start with a dating app or an awkward DM slide; it begins with a job—a very short-lived one. On your very first day, you’re hired and subsequently fired. Cruel. But just when you’re grappling with your newfound unemployment, a mysterious package arrives. A pair of glasses is sent by an anonymous ex-employee of the very company that kicked you to the curb. You put them on, and suddenly, the world around you is talking. Not just people – everything.

Once you slip on those sleek, questionably sent aviator glasses, reality gets a firmware update. Greeted by Skylar Specs (Felicia Day), your aviator glasses have taken a human-like form. Skylar explains that the glasses are actually “Dativators,” and with a simple toggle, players can “activate” any object. Each springs to life with a punny name, a unique personality, and a surprising amount of emotional depth.

Romance isn’t mandatory in Date Everything!

Date Everything! is all about connection. Each day, your Dativators grant you five precious interactions, so you’ll have to choose your conversations wisely. Once those charges are spent, it’s time to let the glasses recharge, meaning no chatting up the same object twice in a single day. This pacing is deliberate because building a relationship takes time, even if it’s with cardboard boxes, Beau (Ashley Johnson), or flowing liquid, River (Marcy Edwards).

Every interaction nudges your bond closer to one of three outcomes: love, friendship, or hate. And while the game may be dressed in dating sim attire, romance isn’t mandatory. You’re free to pursue friendship or instigate rivalry with your quirky household companions. But should you want to charm your entire living room into smitten submission? That’s on you, Casanova.

As your relationships deepen, you’ll start earning SPEC points—an acronym for Smarts, Poise, Empathy, Charm, and Sass. These points aren’t just personality badges; they’re key to unlocking special dialogue options tailored to each datable’s preferences. Some objects swoon for intelligence, while others can’t resist a bit of cheeky sass.

The sprawling cast of once-inanimate objects is part of its many charms.

By fostering bonds with datables that favor a particular trait, you’ll rack up points in that SPEC category, which opens up new paths and reveals deeper layers to their stories. Whether you’re chasing love, trying to win a heated pun-off, or just vibing with your couch Koa (Moses Goods), it’s all about how you converse and who you choose to connect with.

With over a hundred datables packed into a single home, Date Everything! can sometimes feel overwhelming. It’s easy to get overwhelmed trying to keep track of every name, branching narrative, and emotional arc, especially when some objects won’t even reveal themselves until specific conditions are met.

Thankfully, the game offers a helping hand in the form of “Roomers,” a cheeky app on your phone that provides guidance on who’s still out there and where you might stumble upon them next. While many datables are right in plain sight (hello, reliable refrigerator), others require a bit of sleuthing—or even progressing your relationship with another character to unlock hidden nooks in your home.

Date Everything! lets you lean into dating possibilities. 

In a way, the sprawling cast and layered interactions mirror the very real exhaustion that comes with dating. How do you keep up with so many possibilities? How do you know who’s worth your time? That uncertainty is part of the magic. As each day passes and your five interactions reset, it becomes less about speed and more about intention. Relationships, whether with people or a personified vacuum, aren’t built in a day. They’re built-in choices, in effort, and in time.

Ultimately, Date Everything! thrives on its sharp writing and stellar voice acting, which breathe hilarious, heartfelt life into a world where your most intimate connections might just be with your coffee table. The banter is punchy. The personalities are fully realized. And the performances, especially from its all-star cast, elevate every exchange into something memorable. Sure, the sheer number of datables can feel overwhelming, but that chaos feels oddly true to the real-life messiness of connection.

If you’ve ever caught yourself whispering sweet nothings to your fancy new vacuum or felt a suspiciously strong bond with your PC after some upgrades —why not lean in? Date Everything! invites you to appreciate not only your favorite objects and everyday essentials but also to explore what it means to connect with them. Somewhere between the jokes, the sass, and the surprisingly tender moments, you just might find yourself falling for a mirror that sees you more clearly than any human ever has.

Date Everything! releases on Steam, Xbox Series X|S, PlayStation 5, and Nintendo Switch on June 17, 2025.