REVIEW: ‘The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare’ Never Fully Comes Together

One of the greatest cinematic joys is Nazis being killed real good. Take classics like The Dirty Dozen, Award winners a la Inglourious Basterds, or even recent fare such as Sisu. Audiences will show up for the most hateful group in history getting their just desserts. The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is a characteristically stylish spin on the genre from director Guy Ritchie (The Gentlemen). Headlined by a charismatic cast and loosely based on true events, The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare offers the requisite pulp thrills without quite coming together as a narrative.

The year is 1940 and World War II is raging. Out of options, Winston Churchill (Rory Kinnear) puts together a secret team to disrupt Nazi supply lines. Led by wildcard Gus March-Phillips (Henry Cavill), the team includes such personalities as bow-and-arrow-wielding Anders Lassen (Alan Ritchson), explosives expert Freddy Alvarez (Henry Golding), and the much less clearly defined Geoffrey Appleyard (Alex Pettyfer) and Henry Hayes (Hero Fiennes Tiffin). The team’s first mission is to covertly take down a Nazi U-Boat in a neutral port. Entertainer/spy Marjorie Stewart (Eiza González) and port casino bar owner Mr. Heron (Babs Olusanmokun) assist in keeping visiting Nazi forces and their sadistic leader Heinrich Luhr (Til Schweiger) distracted.

The meat-and-potatoes action of The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare works as it should. Our titular group kicks the requisite amount of ass. Cinematographer Ed Wild shoots an early-film raid on a Nazi compound in clear compositions that highlights the cartoonish impact of WWII era weapons on the baddies. Its very reminiscent of 30s/40s-era war comics in its portrayal of the titular “Ministry” as almost superhuman. In the sustained sequences where the team get to do their thing, Ritchie earns some hearty audience cheers.

Cavill understands what kind of movie he’s in, sticking his tongue out like a madman while mowing down baddies. It’s alarming to think that he sleepwalks through so many roles when he’s so effortlessly charming as Gus March-Phillips, mugging to the camera as he steals cigars from his superiors.

Ritchson, other than possessing the same imposing frame that’s made Reacher such a hit, adds a bit of dry humor to the proceedings in his clinically brutal performance. And Golding… well, Golding continues to be an underused asset by just about everyone whose name isn’t Ritchie. As mentioned before, the other two members of the Ministry proper don’t register much. Thankfully, they have a terrific trio to follow.

Oddly enough, The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare doesn’t spend nearly as much time as needed with the titular group. Outside of their sparse set pieces, the film briefly cuts back to them for banter or jargon to further the plot. Ritchie, along with co-screenwriters Paul Tamasy, Eric Johnson, and Arash Amel splits the story between them and Marjorie/Mr. Heron trying to distract the Nazis.

González does magnificent work here, complete with a marvelous English accent, as a spy trying to hold it together. Her scenes with the downright terrifying Til Schweiger provide some breathless moments. Babs Olusanmokum does equally well, providing an interesting lens into the level of deception needed to keep the Nazis off the trail.

It’s got great bones for a spy movie of its own. Unfortunately, this sub-plot has to share the screen with the shoot ’em up stylings of the The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare‘s supposed main characters. Because of that, neither plot really gets the chance to shine.

To make matters worse, The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare makes ham-fisted gestures to real history. Winston Churchill is portrayed with ridiculous reverence. Meanwhile, Cary Elwes‘ Brigadier Gubbins is explicitly called ‘M’ and his assistant is future James Bond creator Ian Fleming (Freddie Fox), not so subtly hinting that the film’s exploits will inspire the creation of 007.

This is not to say that this element wouldn’t have worked, but it’s another piece of the puzzle that doesn’t fit into the film’s 120-minute runtime. The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is overstuffed and overcooked. There are so many aspects that work that it’s tempting to walk away with a mildly positive impression. Ultimately, though, The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is Guy Ritchie on autopilot.

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is playing nationwide on April 18, 2024.