REVIEW: ‘Fitting In’ Goes Deep

Having to see a gynecologist is scary for a number of reason. When we visit them for the first time, and honestly many times after that, we bring in expectations of what who we’re supposed to be. To be “healthy” we have to be able to have kids, we have to have our periods, and just align with where society thinks we should. So when you enter an office where you don’t fit any number of standards, it’s terrifying. In Fitting In, writer-director Molly McGlynn explores the way medical moments can impact our sense of self and how the clinical nature of diagnoses can and do dehumanize people.

At its core, Fitting In, is a coming-of-age “traumedy” that follows 16-year-old Lindy (Maddie Ziegler), who is unexpectedly diagnosed with MRKH syndrome. The diagnosis upends her plans to have sex, her presumptions about womanhood and sexuality, her relationship with her mother (Emily Hampshire), and most importantly, herself. Throughout the film, Lindy tries to figure out who she is and in the process, grows, even if it’s traumatic in some ways and liberating in others.

When Lindy finds out about her condition, it’s a painful moment, and one the film shows as such. Lindy lies on the doctor’s table while he examines her, and in this sterile environment and place where she should feel understood, she isn’t. The camera doesn’t focus on the procedure but rather on her experience of it. Tears come down from her eyes silently; her examination is a moment of dehumanization and something she internalizes as being wrong with her.

Throughout Fitting In, there is a balance between wanting to grow up and experience sex for pleasure and being forced to see sex as something mechanical. Instead of intimacy, sex for Lindy becomes a hurdle she wants to clear and something painful both physically and emotionally.

While we are seeing more films embrace the idea of young women exploring sex on their own terms, Fitting In complicates the standard coming-of-age comedy that shows teens trying to get laid. It is that, but it’s also a look at what sex means to one person and how societal expectations impact the how and why for wanting to have sex. In one way, Lindy wants to have sex because she wants to grow up and be close to her boyfriend.

We see her and her friend watching adult videos and wanting to explore their sexualities. But on the other hand, Lindy is learning how to define herself in a world where having children and having periods are essentialized as a part of the feminine experience. She feels out of place in her body in a way that she has to unpack on her own. Even when her mother wants to help, Lindy is still crushed by her sadness that she won’t ever be able to have children.

Fitting In explores the liminal space of life. It looks at a teen who is trying to figure it all out when it’s all already hard enough, but when her medical condition complicates it, her future feels terrifying in a different way. There is empathy here in the way that we see Lindy explore what her life is like after her diagnosis and that she doesn’t have to do it alone. It’s through her relationship with Jax that the film wonderfully explores intersex identity with care. While Maddie Ziegler’s performance is phenomenal on her own when paired with Ki Griffin as Jax, both characters and the actors behind them shine even more.

Jax is intersex and non-binary, and because they are further in their journey of self-understanding, they’re the only person that Lindy can reach out to. Because Lindy sees herself as being less than after her diagnosis, she pushes away everyone in her life. But when she meets Jax and learns their story, she begins to see a path forward. At its center, their relationship is caring, and Jax carries a lot of Lindy’s emotional weight because they’ve been through their own journey to be who they really are despite what medicine has put them through. Their relationship, both romantically and otherwise, is one of the film’s special elements, even with Lindy’s mistakes in it.

Lindy is selfish, and she’s selfish because she’s hurting, but not once does that allow her grace. Instead, Lindy has to face the consequences of her actions, and narratively, that’s done by allowing her to be messy without leaving her immune to criticism from the people she hurts. She isn’t a “good” main character. She is flawed, but she is trying, and that’s perhaps the most authentic thing about Fitting In. Lindy is a kid. She’s a teen trying to understand her place in the world and, more importantly, in her own body.

Fitting In is a film that goes beyond its premise. It explores identity and gender and the powerful and terrifying role medicine plays in it. As Lindy, Ziegler delivers a powerful performance that shows audiences that her career is just starting. Intimate and empathetic, Fitting In is a lot more than it appears, and that’s what makes it great.

Fitting In is available now on VOD.

It was screened as a part of the SXSW Film & TV Festival under the title Bloody Hell.