REVIEW: ‘Spongebob Squarepants: The Cosmic Shake’ Doesn’t Shake Quite Enough (XSX)

Oh, how I wish Spongebob Squarepants: The Cosmic Shake shook just a little harder. Produced by Purple Lamp and published by THQ, this long-awaited, highly anticipated action-platformer based on the ever-popular Nickelodeon series brings an original story to Bikini Bottom. Spongebob and Patrick are going about their lives when a mysterious mermaid Kassandra sells them some dubious bubble soap that breaks the fabric of reality and throws all of their friends and their town into different dimensions. Your job as Spongebob is to travel through these worlds, collect some cosmic goo, disguise yourself to fit into each odd reality, and rescue your friends.

One of my two favorite parts of The Cosmic Shake is definitely its original story. It feels like it fits perfectly at home in the Spongebob world, akin to a TV special you’d spend weeks seeing commercials for, only to have it run for the regular 30 minutes and be disappointed you didn’t get more of this epic tale you were promised.

It’s a good story, with a ton of funny lines and good voice acting by all your favorite Spongebob voice actors. It’s a bit tired in its depiction of the Romani-inspired Kassandra, but otherwise, if you’re a Spongebob fan, you’ll enjoy the cutscenes. The only annoying thing about them is that you have to press a button to proceed through most of them one line of dialogue at a time. If you’re only passively listening to them, you might find yourself staring at an unprogressed conversation for a bit.

The other aspect of The Cosmic Shake I’m most enthused by is the presentation. The graphics are excellent. They’re a huge step up over the too-sharp Battle For Bikini Bottom: Rehydrated, looking as good as a video game based off a cartoon series has ever looked. The worlds themselves are pretty well-realized too. They span a number of totally different environments from the Wild West to a Halloween-themed Rock Bottom.

The levels are all reminiscent of or in reference to classic Spongebob locales, but they’re also totally original and very fun for that. I only wish that a few of the levels were a bit shorter in exchange for perhaps one more. There are a couple of levels that feel very repetitive after a while as you endure the same couple of pieces of platforming and combat a few too many times in a row.

Combat is where things start to break down a bit. While the number of moves is reasonably varied, albeit perhaps not as creative as in previous Squarepantsed adventures, the number of enemy types is too limited for how many times you have to face them. And even when you eventually start to see a larger variety, some of the enemy types are simply annoying to deal with. They require much too long to go through their vulnerability cycles and as a result, you have to waste a ton of time fighting them or skip them altogether. It gets old quickly with these particular enemies.

The biggest point of dissatisfaction in The Cosmic Shake is the gameplay. It’s easy to just say, “This game isn’t like the one I loved as a kid, so I don’t like it.” It’s not like that game. This isn’t a collect-a-thon. Every level has only one objective and an optional side mission or two and a couple of collectibles to find throughout every level, chiefly one that serves as currency for unlocking more costumes. This means two things, ultimately. It means that the game is pretty straightforward and succinct, letting you play straight through without getting bogged down by any barriers to progress besides completing the previous level. It also means, though, that its replayability is hit or miss.

The levels being too long or too repetitive means that you may not even want to seek out the unnecessary extra bits. But if you like completing games or unlocking costumes, this isn’t such a bad vehicle for it. The levels do become much more navigable upon return, between checkpoints to teleport to and shortcuts you’ve opened up. It’s not inherently a bad thing that this is the way the game is designed, it just becomes dull towards the bitter end and makes the experience feel briefer than I may have hoped for.

Spongebob Squarepants: The Cosmic Shake does a lot of things really right and well to make this feel like a Spongebob game for the current generation. But its lackluster objectives and its sometimes repetitive platforming and combat hold it back from being great. Instead, we’re left with a decent game that’s well worthwhile for a casual Spongebob or action-platforming fan, but a bit short of expectations for anybody who hoped this would take over as their new favorite Spongebob game.

Spongebob Squarepants: The Cosmic Shake is available on January 31 on Xbox, PlayStation, Nintendo Switch, and PC.